Saturday, 6:15 PM
My friend and mentor, Gary Halbert, was fond of saying, “Clients suck!”
But when it comes to having any of the Internet Marketing (IM) “gurus” as clients…
Those guys suck OUT LOUD!
I’ve only written copy for one IM guru… and never will again.
(BTW, the piece I wrote wasn’t for an expensive B.S.O. Internet Marketing product. It was for a well researched and very high quality nutritional supplement in a REAL consumer niche… the health market.)
I guess this guy was too busy working on his “pipeline” to keep his word and pay me according to our contract. Instead of paying the remainder of my fee as agreed upon in person… eye to eye… belly to belly… with a handshake… this guy simply ignored all my calls and e-mails for three months.
When he finally mustered up the balls to return my call, all he said was, “I can’t pay you. I don’t have any money.”
Which I found quite interesting, seeing as how he was bouncing all over the country selling his $2,000 course from the stage and telling people he had a “multimillion dollar health & wellness business.”
I figured he was either a crook or a liar… or both. A guy with a REAL multi-million dollar business would have viewed the remaining balance of $14k owed me as mere pocket change.
So I did what any good ex-cop would do. I reactivated the investigation skills I foolishly thought I could retire after I left the Dayton P.D. and became an entrepreneur and copywriter.
A call to the owner of the fulfillment center this guy used revealed he was averaging sales of $12,000 a month.
Now I admit, math was never my strong suit back in school… but no matter how I added it up, I couldn’t get a “multi-million dollar business” out of monthly sales of $12k.
Instead of wasting any more time, I chose to NOT do what would have been necessary to collect my balance… even though I COULD have… and in the process expose to the IM community all the fraudulent claims he had been making from the stage at ALL the big IMGOBC seminars.
Not my style.
I prefer to take the high road. (Unless somebody REALLY pisses me off… or screws over one of my Marketing Camelot members.)
Wanna know what I did instead?
I had a product formulated, threw his copy up on a website, bought some traffic… and…
The promotion was a success!
After only a few months, it generated more than 5x’s what my fee would have been if this guy had paid me.
After this test, I sold the whole kit & kaboodle to another supplement business owner for a nice five-figure fee… and, to the best of my knowledge, he is STILL making money with it month after month. Last I spoke with him he had a monthly income of $200k from the auto-ship.
This “guru” cheated himself out of millions by cheating me out of $14k.
After being the IMGOBC “golden boys” and promoted by ALL the big names for most of that year, I noticed this guy and his partner dropped out of sight soon after.
Last I heard, his partner ran up million dollar+ bills on 30-day net terms with several CPA networks and skipped out without paying them. (A VERY reliable and confidential informant told me that was the SECOND time he had done such a thing.)
Anyhoooooo… I chalked the whole deal up as an expensive lesson learned… but… once bitten twice shy.
I vowed I would NEVER take any IM guru clients ever again. But…
Never say never!
In January 2010 I got an e-mail from the marketing director of a VERY high profile guru. This guy has invested hundreds of millions of dollars in informercials and has been all over TV for years… usually selling “make money” stuff and more recently alternative health info products and nutritional supplements.
Here’s the word-for-word transcription of that very first contact. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.
I work for Mr. Big and he passed on your contact info.
I’m looking for a GREAT copywriter so I can stop doing it myself.
Let’s chat Friday. When is good for you?
Director of Sales and Marketing
Mr. Big’s company name
I have to admit… I was curious. I figured such a rich big shot can afford the best of everything… and therefore could not only afford what was going to be a very ridiculous fee… but he would also understand the value of what I bring to the table and, therefore, the justification for such a high fee.
I replied back with some very limited times I was available since I was going to be at a seminar that day.
Call me at your leisure Friday AM.
Sometimes spontaneity works better. Always enjoy talking to a fellow copywriter who actually knows what they’re doing. A rare breed indeed.
He includes the URL for the website of the product Mr. Big wants me to write about. They want me to beat the current control.
As soon as I read the piece I knew this gig would be what Halbert used to call a “lay down.” If I wanted the gig (I didn’t), it would be a walk in the park to beat their piece.
I mean a LITERAL walk in the park.
I knew from past experience all I needed was a couple hours in the park with my yellow notepad and pen… AND my brain all amped up from my special intelligence/creativity-stimulating secret of the A-List copywriting superstars as described in the September 2010 issue of The Doberman Dan Letter.
I didn’t want the gig for reasons you’ll soon see… but I was curious how much a big shot as big as him might pay.
So I did some fact finding on the phone with Richard Cranium and told him what else he needed in addition to the copy to ensure this piece would be a success. This, of course, would bump up the fee.
When I quoted my fee, he gasped.
Then stammered out, “Uh… well… ya know… we were looking for somebody to do this on an hourly fee of some kind.”
So… I quoted my hourly fee as 50% of the entire fee I just quoted… and told him I could probably knock it out in 2 hours. (Ain’t I a smart ass?)
(Don’t YOU do that. See, I really didn’t want the gig. I was just curious to see if this guru was for real and as rich as he claims… and would actually pay a premium fee.)
In spite of Mr. Big’s successful experience as a marketer, he was stupid enough to think he could get world class copy and 15 years PROVEN direct marketing entrepreneurship experience at bargain basement prices.
I added one more guru to my mental list of frauds, liars and phonies… and got off the phone as quickly (and politely) as possible.
Here’s the funniest part…
The product they were (and still are) selling was what I called “The Magic Genie” product. Their hook was a slight twist on the old “your wish is my command” line Aladdin’s genie always said.
It was a 14 CD set that sells for $300. It literally promises you can generate almost instant riches with nothing but your thoughts.
These secrets, hidden from the masses for thousands of years, were revealed to Mr. Big in a secret meeting of The Illuminati in the Swiss Alps under the tightest security conditions ever implemented for a meeting of private individuals.
Here are a few excerpts:
…Once you know these closely guarded secrets, you too can learn to become a millionaire or EVEN a billionaire, improve your health, experience quality business/personal relationships and live the life you’ve only dreamed of….
…In attendance were millionaires, billionaires, high-level government officials, heads of countries, members of royal families, politicians and captains of industry. Also in attendance were the highest ranking members of exclusive secret societies like the Brotherhood (which I was a member of for 30 years), Freemasons, Illuminati, Skull and Bones and others. (What they shared left me speechless.)
…It’s virtually IMPOSSIBLE TO FAIL once you know and use the SECRETS!
…If you seriously follow the information in this program, to the letter, you virtually cannot fail. It’s impossible.
You can be a BILLIONAIRE?
It’s IMPOSSIBLE to fail?
Damn! I should have quoted him a fee of 100 million bucks!
After all, with secrets like that, Mr. Big must have more money than God!
Long story short, my fee was exorbitantly high… so I didn’t get the gig. (That was my goal. I’m not sure what I would have done had they paid it.)
The funniest thing was this guy didn’t even get the irony of all this.
Here he is selling the world’s most powerful “magic genie” that grants unlimited wishes…
…the wealth secrets of the Illuminati and other elite people of the world…
…and a 5-second miracle plan (I’m not making that up!) to generating instant riches, health, love and happiness… but…
They can only afford to pay
their copywriter $100 an hour!
Since I worked with Gary Halbert, I’ve been privy to a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff in guru-dom… and it ain’t pretty.
I’m sure they’re not ALL liars and con-men… but guys like this have given everybody who positions themselves as some kind of marketing guru a black eye.
If you’re a freelancer of any kind, you might want to think long and hard if you’re ever offered a gig with one of them… no matter how much they promise to pay you.
You can be as honest as the day is long. Hell, you can be recently sainted by the pope and knighted by the queen… but when you choose to associate with con-men and thieves, don’t act surprised when the world labels you one, too.
- Chris Farley
Monday, 6:56 AM
I’d like us to work together.
See, I recently tested a new project… and the results were MUCH better than I expected.
In fact, the results were so amazingly good, I’ve decided to drop everything and focus exclusively on rolling out this new project.
And that’s where YOU possibly come in.
Do you have a list of business owners?
ANY kind of business owners?
…Online business owners (REAL ones… not the do-nothing dreamer wannabess who CLAIM they’re “Internet Marketers” but don’t actually have a REAL business), offline direct marketing business owners, copywriters, consultants, freelancers, brick & mortar business owners… or even professionals like doctors, accountants or, (God forbid) lawyers?
Do you need a speaker for a teleseminar, webinar or in-person seminar?
Although my copywriting fees have recently been raised to the “ridiculous” level… I’m actually a pretty cheap date when it comes to speaking at your event.
If it’s the right audience, I’m available to speak for FREE at your teleseminar or webinar.
If it’s an in-person seminar, I’ll only need my travel expenses covered.
And remember, I grew up a lower middle class kid in Barberton, Ohio. I don’t usually stay in suites with caviar, champagne and a personal concierge. (Although if you’re paying for it, I’ll reluctantly and graciously accept.)
What’s the catch? Why am I such a cheap date?
I’d like to get in front of as many business owners as possible… as quickly as possible… to promote this new project I’m rolling out.
But don’t worry…
Unlike most other seminar speakers, I’m not going to spend 10% of my presentation “teasing” and 90% pitching some overpriced “cutting edge breakthrough” $2,997 BSO (bright shiny object) product.
Quite the opposite…
My presentation will be 100% pure actionable content… that will GREATLY enhance the businesses, incomes and personal lives of everyone in attendance.
There will only be one quick little “by the way” mention I have something to offer… and it will be offered FREE.
And… there might be an opportunity for YOU to make a very nice recurring monthly income from all this, too.
Click here to contact me with your e-mail, phone number and date(s) of your event.
Someone will get back to you very soon with my availability… or an appointment will be made so we can speak briefly by phone.
P.S. I’m working on a new video you may find quite shocking.
I’m going to expose some little known “insider” secrets about a very famous Internet Marketing guru.
“This may be the most important moment of your life.
Commit to it.”
- V in V For Vendetta
Friday, 3:50 PM
If the past 20+ years as a “kitchen table” entrepreneur have taught me anything, it’s this…
The bigger and stronger the opposition, the bigger the reward.
Considering the opposition that has come out of the woodwork since I announced my first free seminar in Orlando, the only logical thing I can assume is…the few attendees lucky enough to get in on this are going to make some…
I ain’t no Einstein, but I’m pretty sure this is a basic principle of physics… or whatever that fancy-sounding, high falutin’ stuff is those smart guys study…
The harder you throw the basketball against the wall, the harder it bounces back.
The harder the tyrant puts his boot on the neck of the people, the bigger and more violent the revolution.
Same in my entrepreneurial career…
The more challenges and failures I’ve faced, the more money I’ve lost, the more painful and humiliating the consequences of all my failures and mistakes… when I persisted and they FINALLY came…
The rewards were bigger, better and more fulfilling
than I ever could have possibly imagined!
So I welcome the opposition and all the other little mental battles that come with attempting something great.
In fact, I’m going to do something right now that I’m pretty sure will bring on even MORE opposition, challenges… and possibly even a few threats.
I’m announcing a very special guest who has graciously agreed to come to my seminar in Orlando on Saturday November 6th… entirely at his own expense.
He is going to reveal, for the first time ever in a live public forum… a few little “under the radar” secrets to boost your search engine rankings and get your websites to…
Show up FIRST on Google!
This is the real deal. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes.
Sure, there are search engine optimization companies who claim they can do that if you simply cross their palm with a little silver… usually to the tune of about $25k. In most cases, the only thing that will happen is you’ll be $25,000 poorer.
But my “go to guy” is the real deal.
And here’s why I expect to start getting threats from a few people.
My surprise guest who is going to reveal this doozy of a secret was one of the charter members of a little group that now calls themselves…
Because of his marketing skills and technical expertise, he was identified and recruited to be part of a small group of marketers and gurus who banded together years ago to work together to dominate the guru “how to make money” niche and seminar circuit.
Most of the charter members are still active in that group… but NOT my surprise guest. He was shunned, publicly humiliated and permanent black-listed for pointing out their indiscretions and lack of integrity.
So rather than go on a crusade of revenge, aided by folks like little old me who have extremely powerful connections with several state attorney general’s offices and very powerful alphabet agencies (I literally snatched these guys from the jaws of death when we used to work together… so they owe me BIG time)…
…my guest simply went under the radar and started using his skills to quietly turn his business from good to great… and as a result, enjoy a life of leisure.
But even though he prefers to stay under the radar, quietly doing his thing… he likes “sticking it to the man” just as much as the rest of us.
And that is what he is going to do at the seminar… show you how to stick it to the man by using the underground search engine secrets of the most successful online marketers in the world… previously ONLY revealed to a small group of elite insiders behind closed doors.
And that’s only ONE thing you’re going to discover.
Click here to discover a few of the other exciting things I’ve got planned for you. But come right back here after you’ve clicked that link.
Pretty exciting stuff, huh?
Well here’s the BAD news…
This meeting was initially just supposed to be a small get together for the handful of subscribers I have near Orlando. The room I booked was only for 15 people.
Then people started e-mailing me with airfare confirmations, flying in from other states… and other COUNTRIES even. So my little event has grown a bit bigger than I expected.
And now I have to call the hotel and upgrade to the next sized room.
Here’s the problem with that…
This event is 100% FREE… for you.
But NOT for me.
Doberman Dan the cheapskate is paying for all this out of his own pocket…
So I have to cut off registration by this Wednesday,
October 20th at midnight!
If you haven’t registered by then, you miss out on TWO seminars, actually.
My FIRST… and my LAST.
See, I’ve learned a lot by planning this event… and it makes me value even MORE the lifestyle I’ve spent the last 15+ years engineering and working my butt off to achieve.
And putting on a seminar… even just a small FREE one… is a LOT of work.
So I MIGHT speak at a few carefully selected ones in the future… but at this point, I doubt I’ll ever put on another of my own.
Click here now to register for my FREE mini-seminar & mastermind in Orlando, Saturday November 6th.
If you’ve been struggling to start your own online business so you can get free of a mind-numbing, soul-crushing job…
…Or you own a brick & mortar business that has been floundering in this economy…
…Or you’re a freelancer (copywriter, graphic designer, consultant, etc. or would like to be one)… and want to discover my secrets for getting the BEST paying gigs and landing the “biggest fish” clients…
…This event will be the most important one you’ll attend all year.
And possibly the most important event of your life.
And that’s no hype… no exaggeration.
Click here now to register for my FREE mini-seminar & mastermind in Orlando, Saturday November 6th.
P.S. I know your B.S. detector goes off every time you see “free seminar.”
I totally understand. I’ve gotten sucked into that deception, too.
In case you haven’t fallen victim to it, allow me to explain…
1. An expert, big shot or guru announces a free or very low cost seminar with an enticing lineup of speakers…
2. Once you’re in the room, speaker after speaker teases you for 30 minutes or so, showing you what you could achieve with their magic system… but providing ZERO real usable content.
After the 30-minute “presentation” (which was just a disguised sales pitch), the response is…
“Dag-nabbit, look at my wrist… I’m out of time. But don’t worry, all my secrets are in my ‘Magic Push Button Massive Mind Control Prospect Pipeline Secrets’ course for only $2,495.”
And on and on it goes all weekend, ad nauseum.
This, my dear subscriber, is what’s commonly referred to as a “pitch fest.”
If you’ve ever been subjected to that, then I can’t blame your B.S. detector for going off about my seminar being free.
So I’m going to do something radical, that to my knowledge, has NEVER been done by ANY guru, living or dead.
In addition to offering this seminar 100% FREE… I’m offering you a 100% pitch-free meeting.
In fact, if I do ANY kind of pitching during my seminar…
I will GIVE you
a crisp new $100 bill!
For our purposes I will define pitching as…
Now, let’s get something straight.
If you approach me or one of my “go to guys” and ask us FIRST about hiring us or using one of our products or services… then that is NOT us pitching you… that’s you requesting more info.
One more thing…
If I break my word and pitch you during this seminar, I have to give every person there a $100 bill.
But if somebody else speaks in front of the room, screws up and goes into any kind of pitch fest… the $100 bills for all the attendees are coming out of THEIR pocket… not mine.
Are we clear?
So the bottom line?
I ain’t pitching NOTHIN’! I’m too much of a cheapskate to whip out a big stack of Benjamins and just give them away.
And if anybody else breaks my “no pitching” rule, they gotta pay us ALL $100 bucks.
Here’s your marketing
lesson of the day…
That’s an example of the EXTREMES you have to go to nowadays to win over a highly skeptical market.
OK, let’s wrap this puppy up with a big red bow:
Look, if you were my own brother, here’s what I’d say to you…
Quit making excuses. There is NOTHING more important than you being in Orlando on November 6th.
Cancel whatever you have to cancel and do WHATEVER you have to do to transport your butt to Orlando and plant it in the seat for a few hours.
Yeah, it’s THAT important if you want to prosper and be free.
Click here now to register.
This Wednesday, October 20th at midnight is the absolute deadline. After that, you’ve missed out for good.
Thursday, 11:41 AM
Now that I’ve gotten through my direct mail teleseminar from the other night, I’ve finally had a chance to start catching up on a few things.
The first thing I want to fill you in on is my upcoming mini-seminar and mastermind meeting in Orlando.
Here are the meeting details:
Date: Saturday, November 6, 2010
Time: 1:00PM to 5:00PM
Location: To be announced ONLY to registered and confirmed attendees
This event is all about your favorite subject…
Yup… you’re going to get a lot of personal attention from me. (That’s one of the reasons I have to keep this event kinda small.)
And here’s the very BEST way for me to serve you…
I’m going to do a “hot seat” with anybody who wants one.
What’s a hot seat?, you ask.
Allow me to explain, my soon-to-be financially independent friend…
During a hot seat, you tell me about yourself, your business, your goals and your biggest marketing or business challenge. More than likely, whatever problems or challenges you’re facing, it’s something I’ve already tackled… numerous times.
Since I’ve already successfully navigated that minefield, I’m going to guide you through it.
On the rare chance I don’t know how to help you, one of my other “go to guys” in attendance should be able to help.
Just a few minutes in the hot seat can spare you from years of struggle, frustration and trial & error… and help you make a lot more money… a lot faster.
Whatever distance you have to travel and whatever you have to pay for travel expenses… those few minutes in the hot seat will make it all worth while.
How can I be so sure about that?
Because I learned the secret of doing successful hot seats directly from the master himself, Gary Halbert.
Here’s something else
interesting about hot seats…
In many cases you may not get your major breakthrough idea during YOUR hot seat. It may hit you out of the blue while you’re listening to someone else’s hot seat.
Just one idea I gleaned from a Halbert hot seat for a guy in the weight loss market allowed me to increase the sales of a little kitchen table business from about $2000 a month to eventually $90,000+ a month… in only seven months.
Are you starting to understand the power of hot seats?
If the ONLY thing I did was hot seats, this would still be the most important seminar you’ll ever attend.
But there’s more…
I’m going to share my most successful secrets and techniques for starting a “lifestyle” business and making a very respectable income… without having to work like a dog all hours of the day and night.
Let me be embarrassingly transparent with you…
But I’m AMBITIOUSLY lazy.
See, I’m willing to work hard for a short time to build something that will keep paying me well even when I scale back to only working a few hours a week.
And I’m one of only a handful of guys uniquely qualified to teach you exactly how to engineer that kind of income and lifestyle… on a shoestring budget… because that is how I’ve started ALL of my kitchen table businesses.
If you own a brick and mortar business, I haven’t forgotten you either. You’ll leave Orlando with an easy to follow, step-by-step plan to get more new customers, clients or patients within the next 60 days… than you’ve gotten all YEAR!
I’ve got a few other
surprises for you, too!
One little surprise I’m still working really hard to make happen is… you’re going to get a VERY special free gift.
And this gift is the most profitable and jealously guarded secret of the most successful multi-millionaire direct response marketers in the entire world.
Just this ONE somewhat expensive little surprise will put you head and shoulders above all your competitors… and literally GUARANTEE your long-term success in Internet marketing and direct response.
(I’m still working on getting my hands on this little surprise for you… but I’m about 70% sure I can pull it off in time for the event.)
But wait, there’s more…
If you’re one of the lucky few to get in on this meeting, I’m going to reveal some very high level hard core secrets revealed to me in confidence by my mentor, the Prince of Print, Gary Halbert.
I’m probably the only guy alive who can impart these high-level secrets… because I’m one of the very few guys who knows them… AND is willing to take the heat that comes with revealing them.
Not even ONE of all those big shot gurus worshipped by the IM fan boys knows these secrets. (It’s quite apparent they’re completely oblivious about it by observing how they market to you… and listening to what comes out of their mouths.)
But I simply can NOT share this advanced stuff with just anybody.
No, I can only share it with the big boys and girls who are truly ready for it.
So to make sure only mature, intelligent big boys and girls are in the room…
You gotta qualify!
Here’s how to start the process…
Click here now to register.
Soon after I get your registration request, you’ll hear from me by phone or e-mail to ask you a few quick questions.
Don’t worry though… I’m a pretty nice guy in person. I only write like a tough guy.
Please don’t feel bad if I don’t think you’re a good fit for this event. You’ll still get a nice little consolation prize you can use to make a lot of money if you choose.
I just need to be absolutely sure the people in the room with me on November 6th are truly ready for this high-level stuff and are able to benefit from it.
After all, it would be pretty darn irresponsible to give the Ferrari keys to a 15-year-old just learning to drive.
By the way, forgive me for not mentioning it earlier but…
This event is completely FREE!
And it’s not some kind of trick to lock you in the room and subject you to endless high pressure pitches for overpriced B.S. “Push Button Internet Riches!” nonsense.
I wouldn’t want somebody deceiving me like that… and I won’t do it to you.
Remember something from years ago called the “Golden Rule”?
Call me old-fashioned but I still believe in that.
Look, there’s a lot more you’re going to discover on November 6th if you’re able to grab a spot.
I’m talking lots of income-multiplying, life-transforming stuff.
But I’m running out of time today… so let me wrap this up.
If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time… and/or know of my reputation among the big time heavy hitter marketers… then I’m sure you realize the value of this event.
If you miss it, you may NEVER again get another chance to discover all my advanced marketing “gold nuggets.”
Right now there are more people registered than I have space for in the meeting… so not everybody will qualify.
And this meeting is going to fill up fast. So get your registration request in ASAP.
If you’re the type of person I think you are, we’re going to have an awesome time in Orlando on November 6th.
Click here now to register.
P.S. Still think there’s some kind of catch, huh?
Wow! You’re really skeptical, aren’t you?
Well, here’s a previous post explaining the “why” behind me doing this completely free.
And this post explains a few more important details.
Come on. Quit procrastinating and quit looking for “the catch”.
There is none. And I stake my reputation on that.
Just click here and register before you miss out on a once in a lifetime opportunity.