“Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:4
(New International Version)
This just may qualify as a historic post.
I’ve learned to never say never… but this is probably the last “from-the-heart” blog post I’ll ever do.
See, when this blog started several years ago it was basically a personal journal… a way to pass on the life lessons (and marketing secrets) I’ve learned from my 20+ year entrepreneurial career. I never intended to use this blog as part of a business.
There was no keyword targeting or narrowing down to one particular “bulls-eye” topic so I could suck up to Google and get good SEO for keywords that would attract prospects most likely to buy my products.
Heck, until a couple years ago I never even offered anything for sale… even though I constantly received emails from people BEGGING for them.
But things changed.
I discovered I’m passionate about helping entrepreneurs… and helping people like I was… stuck in a j-o-b and existence that doesn’t bring any sense of fulfillment (or enough money)… who want to become entrepreneurs.
So as of Feb. 1, 2012 I’ve sold all my interests in all my various businesses and have decided to focus on my passion… what I affectionately call my “Marketing Camelot.” (I’m referring to all the services and benefits I provide to the cherished people who are subscribers to my print newsletter, The Doberman Dan Letter.)
That means I now have to look at this blog from a different set of eyes. Posts now have to be done with the goal of getting traffic from people who most likely fit the profile of my ideal Marketing Camelot prospect.
Gone are the days of me ranting about whatever tickles my fancy. I actually have to change strategy and use this blog to target my ideal “bulls-eye” keywords. It’s a necessity if you have a business dependent upon attracting customers online.
But not today.
I figure you and I can have “one more for the road” before I have to get serious and start doing what a marketer is supposed to do with his blog.
So let’s enjoy one last final hurrah rant before I have to (reluctantly) relinquish my “personal journal” and focus on the business of DobermanDan.com.
Surprised to see a bible quote at the top of this post from old “hard ass” and occasionally potty-mouthed DD?
Ahhhhh… well then… you don’t really know me, do you? You’ve been judging a book by its cover. You haven’t been privy to the thousands of pages of life story you DON’T see… because I deliberately don’t reveal it to you.
Nope. That’s for me to know and you to find out… if you ever have the chance to spend some “face time” with me and REALLY get to know me… like my Gold Mastermind Mentoring members.
I’ve spent my 47 years on this planet studying and becoming a semi-expert in many topics other than just business and marketing.
In spite of how you may have judged me based on my occasional inner city cop communication style, one of the topics I’ve spent DECADES studying is matters of the spirit.
I don’t think anybody can be immersed in violence, death and the most heinous man against man brutality for 12 years without pondering a few spiritual issues.
Hold a dying child in your arms as they reach out, touch your face, look you in the eyes and say, Oh, you’re a policeman. You’re here to help me.
And you put on your best fake smile, muster all the love you’ve hidden behind that emotional armor you’re forced to put on everyday and reply, Yes, baby. I’m a policeman and I’m here to help you. Everything is gonna be alright. I’m here.
…knowing the only “help” you can offer is to hug them tightly… as you feel the warmth from their blood and their bladder emptying on your shirt… and you feel their dying breath slowly released from their lungs on your neck.
Yeah… you may put on appearances of a tough guy… but that’s just a role.
“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts…”
You go home and soak your uniform in hydrogen peroxide to try and remove the blood. It’s your process of taking off your armor… and off comes the role that goes along with it.
And THAT is when the demons come… and why I dedicated a large part of my life to try and make sense of numerous spiritual issues.
So if you judged me as a heathen because of an occasional “colorful metaphor” I’ve uttered or written, shame on you.
You were making assumptions based on very little information, my friend.
There are a lot of layers here.
The other day I had occasion to thumb through my very first Bible. New International Version.
LOTS of highlighting and notes in that long-neglected companion.
But the page and verse I stopped at (highlighted in pink) was 1 Corinthians 13:4.
Even after decades of turning my back on him, my old friend hadn’t abandoned me. He had the perfect message at the perfect time. It was EXACTLY what I’ve been rolling around in my demented noggin for months now.
What I’ve been thinking about the past year is… if that TRULY is the definition of pure love…
How many of us have
TRUE love in our lives?
Sadly, VERY few.
In my 47 years on this ball of mud I can honestly say I hardly know ANYBODY with true love in their lives.
I know lots of people with “quid pro quo” love (that includes almost ALL marriages)… but if 1 Corinthians 13:4 is the gold standard of how we define love you would probably be hard pressed to name just one person who loves you.
I’ve had months to mull all this over in my head until I finally made the decision to put pen to paper and record my thoughts for posterity.
After 47 years I can safely say I only have two people in my life who love me according to the definition spelled out in 1 Corinthians 13:4.
Or… possibly only one.
Sadly, most people’s spouses don’t love them with 1 Corinthians 13:4 love… even though, ironically, that verse was most likely read at their wedding.
Nope… most spousal relationships are “quid pro quo” love, based on manipulation. “Do this for me and I’ll do this for you and let’s keep from rocking the boat.” Basically like a good business relationship… but with occasional sex. (In many cases, EXTREMELY occasional sex.)
And as long as the status quo remains quid pro quo (hey that rhymes!) the relationship can continue without too many rough spots.
Hey, I think I just coined a new phrase:
Quid Pro Quo
Keeps The Status Quo!
If most wedding ceremonies were to be honest, THAT is what should be read… NOT 1 Corinthians 13:4.
Because life is NEVER status quo.
Things can get pretty tough sometimes.
Occasionally, REALLY tough.
That is when you find out if you’ve got 1 Corinthians 13:4 love… or just a quid pro quo relationship.
If it’s just quid pro quo (and 99% of the time it is) your spouse/friend/partner is going to tuck tail and run.
Sucks, doesn’t it?
But I’d rather tell you the truth than perpetuate a lie. Lying to you doesn’t give you the information you need to make proper decisions. Telling you the truth, no matter how distasteful, does… but it makes me a much maligned and ostracized guy.
You see, I’ve learned most people actually WANT to be lied to. So most of the time I just keep my mouth shut and allow you to figure things out on your own.
That’s why this is my last blog post of this kind. From now on it’s all just business, keyword targeting for SEO, client attraction, etc.
And frankly, that makes me kinda sad.
Anyhoo… my point to all this rambling is this:
If you have one person… just ONE… who truly loves you with 1 Corinthians 13:4 love, you are a truly fortunate and rare person. Because, sadly, after decades and decades of walking this earth, most people die with nothing but “quid pro quo” love mistaken for 1 Corinthians 13:4 love.
And that’s a damn shame.
Look, I tell you the truth (as my personal “filters” see it) which is sometimes quite painful… but I’m also here to offer you hope.
Even if you don’t have it right now, you can have 1 Corinthians 13:4 love in your life if you want it.
By loving others first.
Yeah, I know it’s hard.
There are so many hard-to-love people. (ESPECIALLY on the Internet.)
I don’t want to do it either. It’s against my nature.
But, as far as I know, it’s the only way.
And… you may “kiss a lot of frogs” before you find someone who truly loves you as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4.
No, it’s not easy… but worth it.
Oh yeah, one more really important thing:
Yes, I’ve been quoting the Bible but make no mistake about it, this is a “faith-less” message. In other words, the lesson applies no matter what faith you practice.
Even if you practice none.
In fact, the most honest, ethical, compassionate, loving and Christ-like man I know is…
A Devout Atheist!
… and he is the poster child for 1 Corinthians 13:4 love. (You know who you are.)
Wow… now I’m having serious second thoughts about whether I should publish this. It’s so contrary to the way you probably stereotyped me.
But I know what’s causing the second thoughts.
I’m VERY well acquainted with it. It’s been a constant companion for as long as I can remember.
And it’s the ANTITHESIS of love.
If God is love, fear is the Devil… and that rat bastard constantly tries to keep me from doing and saying things… like publishing this post, for example.
And he is one powerful and persistent enemy.
It took two near-death experiences (this year alone!) for me to drum up the guts to speak about all this publicly.
Funny how believing you’re going to die can change a man.
You say and do stuff you should have always done. The stuff that your enemy has scared you away from saying and doing.
I just want to wrap my fingers around his throat and squeeze the life out of him.
In fact, I’ve tried.
But it doesn’t work. He just comes back with strength multiplied.
I’ve only found one way and one way only to defeat that S.O.B.
Yeah… the exact opposite of what we FEEL like doing.
Because acting on love is walking by faith.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for…
the evidence of things not seen.”
“NOW faith”… not “one of these days when I feel like it” faith.
And NOW faith spurs a man to action… the only way I know to conquer fear.
It’s why I constantly say “motion beats meditation.” Meditation feeds fear… motion conquers it.
And moving forward… even if it’s FALLING forward… is faith in action.
Combine that with love and… wow! You’re probably going to be amazed and astounded at what happens in your life.
No matter if you follow Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Zeus, L. Ron Hubbard, you’re agnostic or even a hard core atheist.
The principle works the same for all as surely as gravity works the same for all.
Look, I know fear well… and I’ve seen its devastating effects.
If you keep letting it hamstring you, a year from now… 5 years from now… 20 years from now… or God forbid, on your deathbed… you’ll STILL be lamenting the dreams and goals you never achieved.
Heck… never even ATTEMPTED.
But now you have no excuse.
You’ve been given the big secret.
The keys to the kingdom.
Love and faith.
Ironically, the polar opposite of how we’re hardwired.
But it’s the only way.
<insert deep introspective thinking here>
Wow… my “last hurrah” blog post was a little heavy, huh?
Well just to make sure I covered all the bases… for those who prefer the more typical Doberman Dan rhetoric… let me put it another way:
GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING!