Stupid Ad – Smart Ad
Tuesday, 4:33 PM
Dear Friend,
Today I'm introducing a new little segment I'm calling "Stupid Ad – Smart Ad".
(If this gets popular… I'll have a never-ending supply of stupid ads to choose from.)
I got both these ads out of a recent issue of Muscular Development, one of the largest magazines in the bodybuilding niche.
When I say "largest", I mean it. This magazine has about 400 pages in every issue. And I think about 75% of them are advertising.
It is REALLY tough to stand out in this magazine and get your ad noticed. Practically impossible… unless you have the advertising budget to run two to six-page spreads like the big boys.
I've successfully competed in this magazine for years with a minuscule ad budget (compared to the big boys)… but I'm going to keep that secret to myself for a while.
Ain't I a stinker? 
Anyhoo… the stupid ad is what they used to call a "double truck"… a two-page spread.
As far as "stupid" goes, this ranks up there as one of the stupidest I've ever seen in this niche… or almost any niche for that matter.
Here's a thumbnail of Stupid Ad page 1.
(You can see the full size by clicking on it.)
And here's a thumbnail of Stupid Ad page 2:
The reason it doesn't win the "Stupidest Ad of All Time" award is because they DO have some kind of response device. They've done their best to hide it at the bottom and make it really hard to read… but at least it's there.
They wasted two full pages with absolutely ZERO information about their product… with nothing but a pathetically weak, almost hidden call to action. (If you can call a teensy-tiny website address buried at the bottom of the page a "call to action"!)
Now this is a big company that's been around a couple decades and is doing OK… in spite of themselves.
The smartest thing they could do right now is hire me.
If I could spend a few days with their marketing department…
I could almost IMMEDIATELY add several million
to their bottom line… without even breaking a sweat!
They're screwing up BIG time with almost EVERYTHING they're doing.
But there is ONE thing they're doing right.
And this one thing allows them to continuously screw up… and still do OK.
And it's something YOU could do to make a boatload of fungolas, too.
But I'll share that in just a minute.
For now, let's move on to our "Smart Ad".
It's also a double truck but with a much smarter and efficient use of those two pages.
Smart ad page 1:
Smart ad page 2:
I happen to know the owner of this company. He's a student of the classic direct response masters.
He has studied Caples, Robert Collier, Kennedy, Lasker, Ogilvy, Halbert, Karbo and a bunch of the old time mail order guys.
He invested his time learning the timeless principles of selling and direct response marketing… and ignored all the goofball flunkies selling Internet Marketing "bright shiny object" products… who are completely clueless about the timeless principles of direct response selling.
This guy is doing a LOT of things right.
The copy helps sets him apart from all the hundreds of other advertisers in the magazine… and that is NOT an easy task!
Actually, I'm kinda surprised the magazine even allowed him to run this. Read the copy on the second page and you'll see what I mean.
This guy has B-A-L-L-S!
And for that, I have R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
He's making a very common mistake that is probably costing him a lot of money… but compared to most of the other advertisers in the magazine, this guy gets a Doberman Dan "gold star".
Wanna know how the stupid advertiser can continue to make money with crappy ads?
It's simple…
He Owns The Media!
Universal, the company that makes the Animal Pak… the product featured in the almost hidden teensy-tiny print at the bottom of the stupid ad… owns Muscular Development.
They can advertise for free!
Now here's an advanced math question for you:
If your ad costs are ZERO… how many sales do you need to break even or make money on your ad?
And if other people pay you to put ads in your magazine, how much out-of-pocket have you invested to create the magazine and distribute it to the world?
Nothing… nada… zero… ZIP!
Not a bad deal, huh?
It's good to be the king of your own media. It puts you in the "tollbooth position"… and everybody who wants to pass through your tollbooth has to pay you.
AND… you also get to promote your own products.
How can you own your own media?
Here are a few ideas for you:
- Build your own e-mail list of subscribers or "raving fans"…
- Start your own blog…
- Publish your own OFFLINE newsletter and build a snail mail list of subscribers and raving fans. (This is at least 10 times more valuable than an e-mail list… in terms of prospect quality, lifetime customer value and resale value of your business.)
- Start a membership website…
- Start your own magazine (Sure, it's pretty cost prohibitive but I have friends who have done it and enjoy international fame and recognition. That's pretty cool, huh?)
That's just a few ideas.
In my most humble (but accurate) opinion, just because you own the media doesn't mean you should slack off and run crappy ads.
Back when it was still owned by Bill and Shawn Phillips, EAS not only owned their own media… but they had completely "kick boo-tay" ads, too.
They were a great example of how to maximize profitability by owning your own media, providing highly valuable cutting-edge content… AND running killer direct response ads for their own products written by some of the best copywriters in the world.
Last I checked it worked out pretty well for those guys.
Hey, I gotta run.
I hope you enjoyed this. If so, it would be kinda fun to make this "Stupid Ad – Smart Ad" a regular series.
Let me know in the comments box if you think that's a good idea.
All the best,
Great post Dan – always good to see some real-world stuff that's good and working.
Aside from the ad, USPLabs does make some good stuff – I really like their "Prime" product (pictured in the ad)…noticeable difference when I'm taking it and when I'm not.
So you know the owner?
Yes, Dan. Always interesting to compare.
Dan, that's the kind of reports I like to read about! Dan Przyojski.
Dan,
I very much like the stupid ad – smart ad idea. These kinds of comparisons are wonderful for bringing out both the basics and little nuances in difference that can make a huge difference in response.
I'd love for you to do more of them.
- John
Wild! Good info and fun to read. Thanks for the ideas. Who knows where they'll take me…
A HUGE Thanks, Dan!
"No School Like the Old School!"
DRM is a better way to view marketing.
Having Balls means you are doing your job and pissing off the timid.
"The cowards never stared and the weak died along the way."
The List. There be gold.
Hey Dan – Love the Stupid Ad/ Smart Ad idea. It's nice to see real world examples of what a good ad looks like (and why it works). And of course, it never hurts to get a little more insight into your thought process.
Definitely make this a regular feature!
Nice idea DD.
Owning the media and being paid for your main business – nice model. Kinda like McDs which for a large part is a huge real estate biz paid for by it's franchisees.
Dan,
This is a great idea (and another excellent post btw)! Reading the stupid ads will make us rookies feel better about our skills.
What mistake is the writer of the smart ad making? Is he being too hard on his lazy, nancy-boy readers?
Great idea Dan.
I'd planned to do that on my website… even have clipped out the stupid ads I've seen.
You're better at it tho.
BTW, I'm SO glad your assistant sent out that ad to your list. I appreciate him doing so, and figured you were gracing your list with an excellent swipe.
Hey Dan,
As always, solid post!
I am wondering, when you said
"He’s making a very common mistake that is probably costing him a lot of money… "
Were you talking about him not having a guarantee?
Just curious, I love this stuff.
Thanks for everything you do for the industry.
Dan, I personally hope you continue this "good ad bad ad" segment!
Never having read the magazine or actually being able to read the alleged bad ad, here is why the bad ad may not be that bad, and remember, the sales copy was not visible so I'm assuming it was ok at best, which is all it had to be if the ad stopped a reader …
If one is used to reading a muscle mag(or any mag) filled with 90% ads, of which most are all following the latest trends using real life graphics and the latest gradient fades pointing to the focal point( product shot) …
An ad done in black and white with a monster of a muscle man(like the bad ad) would definitely stop a reader in their tracks in my opinion and cause them to find the ad text just because of the uniqueness of the ads stopping power.
Have you ever noticed some of the ads that have run for months on end (and cost big bucks) on MSN or Yahoo home page, the ones with just an outrageous old mans contorted face, that stops you dead and makes you look?
My 2 cents anyway.
Dan,
Great article. I hope you continue this feature.
Hey Dan,
You should continue with this segment.
Regarding the Smart Ad for this post, one thing I believe they did wrong is that there is no clear single call to action.
Did they want people to sign up to be featured in their ad?
Or…
Did they want people to go to the URL where they can find out how best to use the products and get professional help?
Or…
Did they just want people who have not bought their products before to try them?
Just my thoughts.
Thanks!
Andy Iskandar
Nice idea Dan. The good ad was so ballsy and in-your-face, I liked it!
Really a nice idea, and a well laid out case… pls keep doing these
I'm listening to an interview Drayton Bird did quite recently, and he mentions David Geller and how one of his strengths in negotiating JVs was that he had interest in a couple of magazines where he could get you advertising very cheaply. I agree that getting into media publishing is a smart move.
One thing people might consider doing, if they're pretty firmly rooted in the place they're living, is starting what some are calling a hyperlocal blog. Local newspapers are dying out, and a lot of people are finding success filling that void online. I imagine controlling access to all those very geo-targeted eyeballs would be great leverage when offering marketing and copywriting services to local businesses (something you mentioned in a previous post).
Good thinking, Dan. I like it when I see thought and brain-power applied to figuring out how to monetize these ideas.
Thanks!
Good observations, Andy.
I hope so, too. It was fun.
I've seen those weird ads and always assumed they must be working or they wouldn't keep running them. It's an interesting technique.
Good observations about the stupid ad. You sound pretty knowledgeable about graphic design. That's something I wish I knew more about.
Actually, it's probably not anything most marketers would pick up on from the ad. It's very subtle.
I SUSPECTED it after following his ads for a while but it was confirmed it when I last spoke with the owner.
I can't disclose confidential information about this guy's business but it's a big mistake most business owners make and I've spoken about it several times on the blog.
I'm better at it? I seriously doubt that.
I just offer a unique perspective based on my personal experiences and the "filters" through which I view the world.
You should go ahead and do it so we can see your unique perspective, too.
Hi John. I kinda answered your question (as best as I could) in my response to James Blue's comment.
Most people don't realize that is Mickey D's ingenious plan, Andrew.
Why is it every Kiwi I know is very sharp and entrepreneurial? Are they all like that?
Thanks! I will… if I can find enough smart ads.
Thanks. It was fun.
I think I'll have a bit more fun with the next Stupid Ad/Smart ad segment. I held back on the stupid ad in this issue. Next time there will be no mercy!
I never thought I'd see the day when I would be considered "old school"… but I have to admit that day has come.
Now excuse me while I go site in my rocking chair on the front porch frequently saying "dag nabbit" and talking about the good old days before this damn inter-web doo-hickey… or whatever you young whipper-snappers call it.
Always good to hear from you, Shirley.
Sounds like a plan, John.
Yeah, and in your niche, too, Dan.
Running more examples is a very good idea that I look forward to. Nothing beats reallife examples.
[...] been made easier, thanks to the fast-growing technology. This comes in many forms; one of it being direct response advertising. Here, the quantity of responses is definitely measurable. In reality, it is performed by either [...]
[...] been made easier, thanks to the fast-growing technology. This comes in many forms; one of it being direct response advertising. Here, the volume of responses is definitely measurable. In reality, it is carried out by either [...]
[...] been made easier, thanks to the fast-growing technology. This comes in many forms; one of it being direct response advertising. Here, the volume of responses is definitely measurable. In reality, it is carried out by either [...]
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