Dear Client,

I sincerely want you to be successful and get the maximum return on your investment from our agreement.

I want you to use my hard-won and REALLY expensive marketing experience to catapult you towards your goals… instead of languishing in heart-wrenching, soul-depleting failure for NINE long years like I initially did.

If I didn’t honestly want your success, prosperity and happiness… I wouldn’t be working with you.

You see, I don’t NEED client work.

In fact, it’s actually a lot easier and MUCH more profitable for me to work exclusively on my own projects.

But, as I mentioned in this post, there are several reasons why I occasionally work with clients.

Due to recent overwhelming demand, I have no choice but to impose new restrictions on how we work together.

In order to help me help YOU be successful, I have to very carefully choose how I invest my time. Every minute I spend doing things that take time away from writing, thinking and strategizing about your business robs you of potential sales and income.

In many cases, LOTS of potential sales and income.

So I have to guard my time like Donner (my Doberman) guards a fresh juicy raw rib-eye steak.

My inherent nature is to be friendly with you, enjoy your company… and be like an easy going “dutch uncle.”

But you didn’t hire me to be your friend. You hired me for one reason and one reason only…

Results!

And to allow me to get those results for you, we have to agree to a few ground rules.

I really don’t want to come across like a jerk. But I’ve learned from experience, in order to allow me to do my job to the best of my abilities, I need to set your expectations and clarify how our relationship will work… right from the very beginning.

When these rules are respected, it ensures you the best chance that what I create for you will bring you the maximum possible return on your investment.

These rules are a HUGE secret to being productive and prolific… and also keeping myself sane, BOTH of which are crucial for the success of our project together. (Believe me, driving your copywriter into a deep depression or to the brink of insanity will be VERY bad for you.)

Enough warm up. Let’s get started…

1. If you need to communicate with me, it will be done via a support ticket sent to my assistant here. (He speaks English, French and Spanish, all perfectly… so take your pick.) If he can answer your question, he will get back to you within 72 hours or less. Otherwise, my assistant will contact me, I will dictate your reply within 5 to 14 days and you will receive it via the support system. That way we have a documented and ticketed digital “paper trail” of all communications.

2. There will be NO unscheduled phone calls. If you need to speak with me, you will need to request an appointment with my assistant here.

3. I will no longer communicate with clients by email. Period.

4. I will communicate with only one contact person in your organization and that person must be the decision-maker.

5. Your ability to test and roll out (if the test proves successful), including all the necessary capital and manpower, must be guaranteed in writing. After the first round of proofing and corrections of any inaccuracies in the copy, you will test the piece AS IS within 60 days or less.

6. After testing, changes/edits to the copy are limited to no more than two.

If you’re in agreement and need no further explanation, we’re good to go. There’s no need for you to read further.

There IS a method to my madness (all in YOUR best interests) so if you MUST know why I demand these things, read on:

Point #1

No further explanation needed.

Point #2

It’s a time suck and a BIG distraction for me.

“Have you got a couple quick minutes” turns into a 45 minute discussion about world events, hobbies and your great aunt’s case of shingles.

As much as I enjoy getting to know you better, that ain’t what you’re paying me the big bucks for. It’s a disservice to you, ruins my thought process and writing flow… all of which robs potential money from you.

Point #3

Email is the absolute worst form of PRODUCTIVE communication… and quickly gets completely out of control.

The advantage of email is also its biggest downfall… immediacy.

Too many people send emails every single time they have a brain fart or new “breakthrough idea” throughout the day… and night. There is rarely much, if ANY, thought given before composing the message because it’s so easy to bang out a quick email.

And because of its immediacy, most people are now (wrongly) conditioned to respond immediately to email… exactly like Pavlov’s dog.

So an immediate or darn near immediate response to email is now expected. Even if it’s not explicitly stated, the implicit expectation is always there.

It’s out of control. Responding to emails eats up a large portion of most people’s time.

Wayyyy too much time.

Time that SHOULD be invested in productive activities.

Even though I could rant about this for hours, I won’t. I’ve already expressed my thoughts on this lunacy here.

You hired me for my expertise and ability to create marketing programs and copy for you that will grow your business and make you more money. Every minute I spend dealing with “brain fart” emails steals my limited time away from completely focusing my brain power on your business.

Overwhelming me with email is completely counter productive to what you hired me to do. (And for many copywriters – since we’re the flaky creative types – it’s the final straw that pushes them into a deep depression that kills their creativity and causes a case of writers block that can last for months.)

When you’re forced to organize your thoughts and questions in advance, a 15-minute phone call every couple weeks is MUCH more effective and productive than 100 “brain fart” emails sent back and forth over weeks, robbing me of time I SHOULD be investing in your business.

Point #4

I will only communicate with one person and one person only… the guy or gal on “point.” Somebody who has the decision-making power and testicular fortitude to pull the trigger and implement what I’m creating for you. In many entrepreneurial companies that will be the owner.

If there are people in your organization who will be implementing what I create (entering auto-responder messages, posting copy on websites, getting artwork to designers, getting lists to lettershops, fulfillment companies, etc.) it is YOUR responsibility to communicate with them.

 Point #5

Implementation.

This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.

You would be amazed at how many companies are completely dysfunctional in this department. From “kitchen table” entrepreneurs all the way up to HUGE $100 million/year direct marketing companies.

Look, if you’re weak and/or incompetent in this department… for whatever reason… you and I are going to have major problems.

Mostly because my performance based compensation depends on YOUR ability to implement. And if you can’t do that, you are literally robbing food off my family’s table.

Let me be very transparent about my complete and utter disdain for this very common problem… and hopefully avert a potentially VERY ugly confrontation.

(Actually, since you’ve made it this far, I highly doubt this describes YOU… but I’ve been deceived before.)

If you are so anal-retentive that you have to meditate on my copy for months on end, requesting dozens of minor changes that won’t make one lick of difference in your response rates…

… and you are so insecure that you have to pass around my work for opinions from every person in your organization… including your wife, your secretary and even the night janitor… we are NOT compatible and you shouldn’t even ENTERTAIN the idea of working with me. Hire the night janitor to write your copy instead.

With me you’re getting copy & strategy from a guy who has been a successful direct response serial entrepreneur for 17 years. All the successful businesses I’ve built have been started from scratch with my own copy… and more importantly… WITH MY OWN MONEY.

After wasting all your time collecting opinions and critiques from people with zero successful direct response experience, ask if they’d be willing to put up $25,000 of their own money to test their unqualified theories and ideas.

<Insert blank stares and sound of crickets chirping here.>

‘Nuff said.

Point #6

Interestingly, this is often related to point #5. It’s one more way anal-retentive (and fearful) people can delay things and “keep the curtain from going up on their show.”

I used to think those personality types were only attracted to work like accounting or engineering… but a few of them actually become entrepreneurs, too.

Not many though.

Anyhoo, if changes or tweaks are required after the initial test, I will make another round of changes. If after the first round of changes the piece doesn’t perform to an acceptable cost per acquisition (for front end promotions) or ROI (for back end promotions), I will review and possibly revise the offer and make one last round of changes. But…

You are NOT entitled to endless changes and tweaks.

If you want further changes after the two included, we will need to negotiate that as a new project.

If I have a royalty or performance based agreement with you I will more than likely periodically review, tweak and test changes in the copy… solely at my discretion. But our agreement does not obligate me to that.

I’m done.

Let’s go make you some “plata” as the Colombiana says.

All the best,