{"id":5132,"date":"2010-08-01T15:12:45","date_gmt":"2010-08-01T20:12:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dobermandan.com\/?p=5132"},"modified":"2010-08-01T15:23:40","modified_gmt":"2010-08-01T20:23:40","slug":"how-to-change-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dobermandan.com\/blog\/how-to-change-people\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Change People"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Friday, 1:49 PM<\/p>\n<p>Dear Friend,<\/p>\n<p>Remember last week I told you I was going to test something new?<\/p>\n<p>I started sending my entire message in an e-mail&#8230; instead of sending you a short teaser e-mail to get you to click through to a blog post.<\/p>\n<p>I was inspired to try it after Reading <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bensettle.com\">Ben Settle&#8217;s<\/a> new &#8220;Street Smart E-mail System&#8221; course.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s working KILLER in one of my niche businesses.<\/p>\n<p>July is always a crappy month in this particular niche&#8230; but so far, this technique has DOUBLED my sales from e-mails.<\/p>\n<p>It will be exciting to see what happens after Labor Day when sales come back to normal.<\/p>\n<p>But I&#8217;m still not sure if I like doing it for my DobermanDan.com subscribers&#8230; for a couple reasons.<\/p>\n<p>First, I&#8217;m worried about being an annoying pest instead of a welcome guest.<\/p>\n<p>And second&#8230; I miss the comments on the blog. They&#8217;ve gone way down since I started this test.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s probably just an ego thing but the comments let me know SOMEBODY is listening.<\/p>\n<p>I read every one, even if I&#8217;m not able to respond to them all. Most people are really nice and it&#8217;s a high point in my day.<\/p>\n<p>Geez&#8230; maybe I really DO <a href=\"https:\/\/dobermandan.com\/i-think-i-need-to-see-a-shrink\/\">need a shrink<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p>Anyhoo&#8230; I&#8217;ll continue this for a while and see how it goes.<\/p>\n<p>Hey, I&#8217;ve been thinking about something the past few days and I&#8217;d like to share it with you.<\/p>\n<p>In the past (actually the very recent past) I&#8217;ve been guilty of trying to change people.<\/p>\n<p>I did it out of love because I don&#8217;t like to see people I care about not living up to their potential.<\/p>\n<p>So I did some things and said some things with the hope I could motivate them and turn them into &#8220;go-getters&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, they&#8217;re not, never were&#8230; and sadly, probably never will be.<\/p>\n<p>They seem to be content to settle for mediocrity for themselves and their families.<\/p>\n<p>That doesn&#8217;t make them bad people. They&#8217;re my friends and I love them.<\/p>\n<p>But I think pressure from me (even though it was subtle) was putting a strain on our relationship.<\/p>\n<p>They don&#8217;t want to change or improve their lives. If they really DID, they would be taking actions to do it.<\/p>\n<p>And nothing I do or say will change that.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s true what Thoreau said&#8230; most people live lives of quiet desperation and die with the music still inside them.<\/p>\n<p>So I&#8217;ve discovered (the hard way) that trying to change someone is a complete waste of time.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, the very idea that you&#8217;re trying to change someone is saying that they&#8217;re not good enough as they are.<\/p>\n<p>And it reeks of judgment and disapproval&#8230; and those thoughts will only bring separation between you two.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, you have to look for the good in people&#8230; and when you do that, almost miraculously, more of it appears.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a simple principle&#8230; whatever you focus on, you get more of.<\/p>\n<p>If you only look for the good in people, you&#8217;ll be amazed at what your new focus reveals.<\/p>\n<p>All the best,<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/dobermandan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/dobedansig_sm12.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-65\" title=\"dobedansig_sm12\" src=\"https:\/\/dobermandan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/dobedansig_sm12.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"74\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>P.S. Do you agree? Disagree? Think I&#8217;m wasting my time with these articles?<\/p>\n<p>Tell me your thoughts in the comments box below.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Friday, 1:49 PM Dear Friend, Remember last week I told you I was going to test something new? I started sending my entire message in an e-mail&#8230; instead of sending you a short teaser e-mail to get you to click through to a blog post. I was inspired to try it after Reading Ben Settle&#8217;s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[48,13],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-5132","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-e-mail-marketing","7":"category-success-mindset"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How To Change People - Doberman Dan<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dobermandan.com\/blog\/how-to-change-people\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How To Change People - Doberman Dan\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Friday, 1:49 PM Dear Friend, Remember last week I told you I was going to test something new? 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